Whatever issue you face, make sure to always blame others and make them responsible for it. It’s generally never your fault, so refuse to consider any other possibility.
Errors are the root of all evil. It is important to think that only bad programmers make mistakes and there is nothing good about them, ever.
Make sure to read as many books about coding as you can afford. The world needs more theory.
It is important to only code once a week because your brain really needs that one week break.
There is no such thing as a clean diet. A developer needs just pizza and coke on a daily basis to work.
Do not let the Ctrl-C key to rust on your keyboard. Use them and don’t waste time trying to understand what you copied.
Programmers need to program and working out is for kids, it has no benefit for coding and must be avoided at all cost.
Make sure to always have social media open while you code. As a developer, you want to avoid missing something at all cost.
Documentations belong in the trash. Do not write them and certainly make sure to not read them. Why spend 5 minutes on reading documentation when you can spend hours looking aimlessly for a solution online.
Never seek help. When you seek help, you are letting other developers know how dumb you are.
There you have it. Follow these simple steps and you’ll be the most terrible developer ever.